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Jason's Bio (You can copy and paste this for promotional use) Since first stepping on stage in 2012, comedian Jason Moliterno has delighted audiences with his clever observations, which he packs with smart wit and a dash of absurdity. Once described by a former teacher as a "slow-talking sage," this Youngstown, Ohio, native will either find a unique angle on an everyday subject or turn an unusual idea into something relatable. Jason has performed in over twenty states. He won the 2017 Feature Contest in Akron, Ohio, and has performed at the Accidental Comedy Festival, Whiskey Bear Comedy Festival, and Cleveland Comedy Festival. His peers nominated him for multiple Cleveland Comedy Awards, including "Best Joke" and "Road Warrior." In 2011 he directed a short film that won first place at the Akron Film Festival. Today he co-hosts The Jason & Noel Comedy Hour podcast with his wife. |
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Jason's bio, if written by Shakespeare.
Ho! What villain reads this site?
'Tis his own mouse-click hath put himself here,
else swipe of tablet.
Read speedily to thy bosom this bio.
Jason? How came him thus a fool, with nothing of purse?
Forsooth, he didst heave'd his child years
to the pigfeed. O but the morns and nights
he lay by foul television.
Zounds! That Jason maketh jokes in 2012
thou shall believe 't. I pray you, he didst.
Proclaim'd his knavery on many stages, he speak't thus
toward his kinsmen o' th' Ohio and Pennsylvania.
I warrant thee, he doth but stand upon a comedy special
as new as a lad at crying breast. O, let the heavens,
that fear not seize his heart.
How now, Jason? In Youngstown with virtuous Noel.
'Tis his own mouse-click hath put himself here,
else swipe of tablet.
Read speedily to thy bosom this bio.
Jason? How came him thus a fool, with nothing of purse?
Forsooth, he didst heave'd his child years
to the pigfeed. O but the morns and nights
he lay by foul television.
Zounds! That Jason maketh jokes in 2012
thou shall believe 't. I pray you, he didst.
Proclaim'd his knavery on many stages, he speak't thus
toward his kinsmen o' th' Ohio and Pennsylvania.
I warrant thee, he doth but stand upon a comedy special
as new as a lad at crying breast. O, let the heavens,
that fear not seize his heart.
How now, Jason? In Youngstown with virtuous Noel.
Jason's Bio if written by Ernest Hemingway
The air was cold and Jason was born. The doctor said, "It's a boy," and everyone went home.
Jason sat in school, and the teachers gave him books. Some were good, and some weren't. He drank beer and took his degree in English.
"I'd like to make some movies," he said. He picked up a camera and pointed it. He wrote lines and people said them. He showed it in a theater, and some people came. Others did not.
Jason decided to be a comedian. He sat with a pad of paper and thought of jokes. One day, he said those jokes to people. Some laughed. Some thought he needed psychiatric care. Some checked their phones. He buttoned up his coat and left.
There are other ideas that he has. He is working on them.
He met a girl named Noel. Her hair was red and long, and she taught school. They drank coffee and talked. They put their belongings in a truck and drove. They declared vows.
Jason sat in school, and the teachers gave him books. Some were good, and some weren't. He drank beer and took his degree in English.
"I'd like to make some movies," he said. He picked up a camera and pointed it. He wrote lines and people said them. He showed it in a theater, and some people came. Others did not.
Jason decided to be a comedian. He sat with a pad of paper and thought of jokes. One day, he said those jokes to people. Some laughed. Some thought he needed psychiatric care. Some checked their phones. He buttoned up his coat and left.
There are other ideas that he has. He is working on them.
He met a girl named Noel. Her hair was red and long, and she taught school. They drank coffee and talked. They put their belongings in a truck and drove. They declared vows.
If you're still reading... Jason's Bio if written 450 years ago by Nostradamus
In a Western empire where two towers have fallen,
A lazy ketchup-lover vexed in Young’s Town.
His name will be of the Argo and his dreams
Will bring plague and famine upon his heart.
He will find himself in arts not yet invented.
Two thousands jokes will die in Cleve’s Land
and Pitt’s Burgh. Near the Allegheny,
The red haired teacher will offer bed.
A lazy ketchup-lover vexed in Young’s Town.
His name will be of the Argo and his dreams
Will bring plague and famine upon his heart.
He will find himself in arts not yet invented.
Two thousands jokes will die in Cleve’s Land
and Pitt’s Burgh. Near the Allegheny,
The red haired teacher will offer bed.
